Calming the Mind

Too much knowledge
Leads to overactivity;
Better to calm the mind.
The more you consider,
The greater the loss;
Better to unify the mind.
- Shih Wang Ming (6th c.) courtesy of dailyzen.com

People come to therapy looking for answers. They are interested in learning new skills to cope with the conflicts and stressors in their lives. While we are engaged in that work something very important is happening; there is an acquisition of wisdom. What we go over in the session and what is experienced in the days between sessions generates a wisdom beyond wisdom about the self and the world. It’s a very subtle experience that gets lost behind the new ideas and experiences of everyday life. There are no words, concepts, or formulations that can capture it because it is the background of our active and busy mind. Taking time each day to be still and listen to our breath in and our breath out gives us the opportunity to have that subtle experience. We are able to calm and unify the mind when we shift our attention away from what we learn and focus on the experience of this time to just be.

The universal body of reality
Is so subtle that
You do not hear it
When you deliberately
Listen for it,
And you do not see it
When you look at it.
As for the pure knowledge
That has no teacher,
How can it be attained by
Thought or study?
- Huanglong      courtesy of dailyzen.com

What actually works in psychotherapy? What happens in those 45 or 50 minutes that generates change in a person?  As a new therapist I would carry this great worry and responsibility to fix the clients who came to my office. Over time I realized that when they would tell me they felt better my reaction was always one of amazement and honor to be a witness to their changes. There was never a sense of giving them something with an expectation that they would change in front of me or come back the next week different in some positive way. Change really is the product of new experiences in the subtle universal body of reality. Using my skills in listening closely and asking questions that encourage finding new perspectives helps my client to experience the pure knowledge of mindful reflection. The process of working through trauma, pain, and loss is a complex and challenging journey. I serve as a traveling companion who does not assume any knowledge of how the journey will unfold. I bring an unwavering belief in my client’s ability to discover something new about themselves so that they may have the experience of a positive change in their lives.

A quiet residence

With hardly a neighbor—

A grass-covered path

And deserted garden.

Birds roost

In pond-side trees;

In moonlight,

A monk knocks at a gate.

Crossing a bridge

Unfolds more wilderness;

Moving a rock

Moves the base of clouds.

- Chia Tao (779-843) courtesy of dailyzen.com

One of my favorite exercises in art therapy is to have everyone draw a bridge and then put themselves on the bridge. The conversation that follows is rich with reflections on progress in therapy; feeling stuck in life; or having a sense of losing ground to present conflicts. Everyone draws and colors their bridge in silence; as if each member is in a quiet residence. I become the monk knocking on the gate after all the drawings are complete. A visitor from the outside inquiring about their sense of place and time. I pay attention to where they put themselves on the bridge and the details of the drawing; the shape and size of the bridge; what is drawn on either side; and what lies beneath. Sometimes we can wonder about those choices and the conversation becomes a creative process for new insights. We move rocks when we recognize the new perspectives revealed in the drawings. Past, present, and future are all represented in the drawing but the key lies in the present moment of reflection and discovery.

I built a thatched hut
deep in the clouds
and find enough joy
in what life brings
I manage to keep a
potato fire burning
and still write letters
despite a lack of schemes
clear and still as ice
I transcend the bounds of time
open and full of light
I encompass the ten directions
but I don't know what
happened outside my door how many times has spring followed fall
- Stonehouse (1272-1352) courtesy of dailyzen.com

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are very effective modes of psychotherapy for stress management. Essentially I teach someone how to induce a state of trance which is  focused attention. The experience creates a sense of inner space to consider the difficult experiences or worries that are causing disruptions in the daily routines. From that “thatched hut in the clouds” a person can recognize the distorted and self defeating beliefs that are creating the disruptions . The ability to focus our attention in this way allows us to transcend the bounds of time and encompass the ten directions. We can cultivate a  new way of understanding our feelings and reactions to experiences. To find joy in what life brings can be very challenging in difficult times. Even with these tools the answers to our questions may remain unknown. The cultivation of a new understanding is supposed to be difficult. Committing to a time each day to spend in our “thatched hut in the clouds” helps us to be open to discovery and change.

Unknown, Hsiang-chi Temple
miles and miles into cloud-draped peaks.
Among the old trees a path no one travels,
a bell deep in the mountains but from where?
A brook gulps among protruding boulders,
and though the sun glows,
it's cool beneath the pines.
At dusk, by a bend in an empty pool,
meditating quietly, I rout the deadly dragon.
Wang Wei (699-761) courtesy of dailyzen.com

The journey taken in psychotherapy is a path that no one has traveled before. We spend the time in session reflecting on the past; acknowledging the feelings in the moment; and contemplating the future. The conversation flows among the tragedies and fears which protrude but cannot impede our intention to discover deeper truths and understandings. The deadly dragons of resentment and anger are routed by our meditations on the quiet connections we have with the universe.

Human lives go along with circumstances. It is not necessary to reject activity and seek quiet; just make yourself inwardly empty while outwardly harmonious. Then you will be at peace in the midst of frenetic activity in the world.
                                                       - Yuanwu Keqin (1063–1135) courtesy of dailyzen.com

Many people come to therapy complaining about feeling empty.  They turn to addictive behaviors as a way of “filling the void” they feel inside. There is a belief that in order to manage the frenetic activity in the world one must be inwardly content and full. The idea of making yourself inwardly empty challenges this belief. To actively bring about a sense of emptiness is a fundamental task in meditation. The fears and concerns that accumulate daily generate a sense of discontent and unease. Rather than seek relief from the outside take the  time to shift your focus to breathing in and breathing out . This simple task allows the mind to release it’s hold on those thoughts  and experience the openness of a beginners mind. Emptiness becomes boundlessness and the discontent transforms into a sense of wonder and possibility. Your fears and concerns are given their due respect without interfering with the experience of being outwardly harmonious.

When this mind is clear and bright

And is not covered over,

Then you are not very different

From the sages.

If you allow no wavering

From this clarity, and do not

Let it change,

And do not cling to it,

And do not neglect it:

This is learning.

Just protect it all the time

And do not damage its clarity

- Luo Hongxian (1504-1564) courtesy of dailyzen.com

A fundamental tool in psychotherapy is insight. When someone understands the reasons why they react in ways that are self-destructive they can develop healthier ways of managing their lives. A wonderful moment in therapy occurs when clients have a unique thought or idea about themselves. We spend time appreciating the new insight and clarifying the meanings it brings to our work. The experience itself is an example of a clear and bright mind. We join in a collective effort to protect it without clinging or neglect. It becomes a significant experience in the learning process. The self confidence that accompanies insight is very powerful and becomes a critical force in making important changes.

The learning that comes from within us is the learning of sages. In therapy we allow no wavering from the clarity of insight. That becomes the best path for deep and substantial change.