Monday, June 8, 2015

Withdraw now from
the invisible pounding and weaving
of your ingrained ideas.
If you want to be rid of this
invisible turmoil, you must just sit
through it and let go of everything.
Attain fulfillment and illuminate thoroughly.
Light and shadow altogether forgotten.
Drop off your own skin,
and the sense-dusts will be fully purified.
The eye then readily discerns the brightness.
- Hongzhi Zhengjue (1091–1157) courtesy of dailyzen.com

It is counter intuitive to just sit through anything that is frightening, sad, or  simply annoying. We are by nature active in our lives and doing something about it helps all of us feel strong and confident. The idea of sitting still does not bring up images of successful change. Withdrawal is a symptom of depression, in extreme cases it can be life threatening if the individual has stopped all self care and is isolated from any support system. When someone comes to therapy we spend an hour sitting and talking about the reasons for being here and to define the goals for treatment. My hope is to allow a non judgmental and safe environment to help in the process of letting go; to abandon the critical and punitive beliefs attached to the struggle.  There is sitting and then there is sitting mindfully. When fear, sadness, and irritability are discussed with an open mind and an open heart the light and shadow will dissolve. Just sitting becomes a means to self illumination and discovery. We then take these discoveries into our daily activities and experience them in a new and healing light.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Today’s students of the Buddha-Dharma need to look for genuine insight. If you have genuine insight, birth and death will not affect you, and you will be free to come and go. Nor do you need to look for worthiness; it will arise of itself. Followers of the Way, do not let yourselves be deluded by anyone; this is all I teach. If you want to make use of genuine insight, then use it right now without delay or doubt. Students nowadays do not succeed because they suffer from lack of self reliance. Because of this lack, you run busily hither and thither, are driven by circumstance, and kept whirling by the ten thousand things.
-Rinzai ( d.866) courtesy of dailzen.com

How do we know our insight is genuine insight? We have all had the experience of believing we have it figured out only to have someone come along and shake all that up. I like the idea that I have a known self and an unknown self ; and there is a self others know about me and a self that is unknown to others. The combination of these four concepts creates some interesting thoughts. What I know about myself and what is known to others is my public self. What is unknown to others is my private self. What others know about me that is unknown to myself is the source of interpersonal learning. Finally that which is unknown to myself and others is my potential. I think genuine insight, worthiness, and self reliance can be found in the meaning behind all the different combinations. We will never know it all; being with others will always give us the opportunity  for learning. When we can step into genuine relationships with compassion and loving kindness we cultivate our worthiness and self reliance. Genuine insight is in each moment of full and authentic presence with others.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Enlightenment has no definite form or nature by which it can manifest itself; so in enlightenment itself, there is nothing to be enlightened. Enlightenment exists solely because of delusion and ignorance; if they disappear, so will Enlightenment. And the opposite is true also: there is no Enlightenment apart from delusion and ignorance; no delusion and ignorance apart from Enlightenment. Therefore be on guard against thinking of enlightenment as a “thing” to be grasped at, lest it, too, should become an obstruction. When the mind that was in darkness becomes enlightened, it passes away, and with its passing, the thing which we call Enlightenment passes also.
-Lankavatara Sutra courtesy of dailyzen.com

There is an inevitable disappointment when someone has completed their therapy. The anticipated “better place” is nothing more than the mundane everyday flow of tension and ease. There is no emerging sunshine and happy background music. Termination is the term used for finishing up someone’s treatment. It’s a pretty ominous term but it conveys some very important dynamics in the process of change. The uniqueness of the therapeutic relationship allows for a very close, personal connection that is contained in a professional setting. A safe and empathic space is a good setting for new ideas and experiences. When the goals of the treatment have been reached we begin the process of summarizing the process of change; understanding the new found skills and confidences in the here and now; and anticipating challenges in the future.My client walks out of my office as a fellow traveler on life’s journey. No more, no less. Delusion and ignorance do not vanish when therapy is completed. My client’s enhanced self awareness helps her to be on guard and recognize when she is trying to grasp enlightenment. The way out of the darkness is in the tensions and the ease of our every day lives.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

It is most urgent that you seek real, true perception,
So you can be free in the world
And not confused by ordinary teachers.
It is best to have no obsessions.
Just don’t be contrived.
Simply be normal.
You impulsively seek elsewhere,
Looking to others for your own hands and feet.
This is already mistaken.
- Linji (d. 867) courtesy of dailyzen.com

An understandable issue with psychotherapy is this idea that there is someone out there who knows more than me about how to live my life. The response to suggestions of seeking professional help is "I can solve my own problems!" There is a stigma associated with seeing a therapist, that someone is crazy and unable to care for themselves or worse pose a threat to society. This becomes even more complicated when it is parents seeking help for their child. Is there a way to seek real and true perceptions in the therapist's office? How would you know if it was real? What is the difference between a therapist and an ordinary teacher?
We know that the experience of being understood is a more powerful curative factor than the clinician's degrees and theoretical orientation.  What is real is what makes sense and if there is the experience of having a new idea or perspective on an issue then you are the one who has made the discovery. Therapy is different from the classroom because there is no lesson plan, there is a companion for your journey who will ask questions and learn from you as you learn about yourself. This is the genuine therapeutic process, my training and experience provides me with a fund of knowledge to choose the right kinds of questions at the right time in the journey- unless I don't and there is a break in the connection. What is unique in therapy is how even the breaks become important opportunities for learning. The journey in therapy is not supposed to be easy, the hardest part will be acknowledging your hands and feet in a compassionate and non-judgemental way. Together we will seek that elusive simplicity.

Monday, March 23, 2015

You want to be a mountain-dweller,
No need to trek to India to find one.
I’ve a thousand peaks
To pick from right here on the lake.
Fragrant grasses and white clouds
Hold me here.
What holds you there,
World-dweller?
- Chiao Jan (730-799) courtesy of dailyzen.com

A "geographical cure" is a tempting idea for change. If I move to a new city I will be able to start over, make a new life. Over the years I have had many clients try this and all have been disappointed in the results. They soon discover the issues, that they had hoped were left behind, continue to disrupt and undermine their quest for happiness. The process of reflecting on the unwanted parts of our life is in effect the mountains we seek. To pause for a moment and understand the ability you have to look down on all the different parts of your life is to be the thousand peaks. It takes time and effort to cultivate this awareness. All of the struggles and fears become precious opportunities for learning and accumulating wisdom.  Acknowledging mistakes and disappointments with an open mind is another precious resource. A loving and compassionate relationship with our selves and our world creates a holding environment for us to discover the fragrant grasses and white clouds that have always been there.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Everyone holds a luminous jewel,
 All embrace a precious gem;
 If you do not turn your attention
Around and look within,
You will wander from home
With a hidden treasure
. - Dogen (1200–1253) courtesy of dailyzen.com

In psychotherapy I am always trying to assess my client’s insight. Is there an ability to reflect on his situation objectively? Does she have the capacity to have an emotional understanding of the underlying dynamics related to her presenting concern? There is a great deal of literature and research about emotional intelligence. The ability to find words that accurately convey an emotional experience is not something everyone has and it is something everyone can learn. The learning happens in a safe environment of empathy and compassion. Insight emerges in the dialogue between me and my client. It is the mutual experience of finding words that captures the subtle influences of long held fears and distorted assumptions about the self and others. The process of enhancing emotional self awareness is an effective way to turn your attention around and look within. To reflect with an open mind is an important step in cultivating the awareness of our luminous jewel. What becomes apparent is how the process of looking is the discovery of the hidden treasure.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Where there is beauty, there is ugliness. When something is right, Something else is wrong. Knowledge and ignorance Depend on each other. It has been like this since the beginning. How could it be otherwise now? Wanting to chuck out one And hold onto the other Makes for a ridiculous comedy. You must still deal with everything Ever-changing, Even when you say it’s wonderful. - Ryokan (1758–1831) -courtesy of dailyzen.com

All or none thinking is one of the more frequent cognitive errors we make when dealing with stressful situations. Either I am successful or I am a failure. The severest form of this is the assumption that the self or others are all good or all bad. A life from this perspective is filled with conflict and doubt. Experiences carry a potential for elation or despair. The idea of possibilities is intolerable because there is a required acknowledgement of possible failure and shame. The idea of knowledge and ignorance depending on others can be a hard one to swallow. However one cannot recognize knowledge if one does not know ignorance; just as one cannot recognize happiness without knowing sadness. Therapy is the opportunity to sit in a compassionate and non judgmental environment to consider all the positive and negative aspects of ourselves. That space then becomes a refuge for exploring and investigating. Wisdom is a natural product of this work and a very effective way of dealing with everything that is ever changing.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Whatever people do, whether they remain in the world as artisans, merchants, or officers of the government, let them put their whole heart into the task; let them be diligent and energetic. And if, like the lotus flower, which grows out of muddy water but remains untouched by the mud, they engage in life without cherishing envy or hatred; if they live in the world not a life of self but a life of truth, then surely joy, peace, and bliss will dwell in their minds. - Buddhacarita courtesy of dailyzen.com

Commitment to treatment is an important factor for successful experiences in psychotherapy. Resistance in treatment can be viewed as a problem brought into the session by the client and can sabotage the therapists ability to facilitate change. Over the years I have come to realize this is a very narrow view of a dynamic and intersubjective experience. As Roshi Joan Halifax has said; enlightenment happens in the context of a loving relationship. In therapy there are two people joined in a common cause. Commitment and resistance are the competing forces that facilitate change. The therapist and the client engage in dialog that can shift from being diligent and energetic to being avoidant and confrontational. We are all lotus flowers and although we are untouched by the mud we cannot the exist without it. We will never be able to put our whole hearts into every task all the time. Just as our mind will wander in meditation our tendencies to cherish envy and hatred will find their way into our minds and hearts. It is the recognition of this that allows us to return to the in breath; renew our commitment to our compassion;and cultivate loving kindness. When I can pause with my client to process a difficult session we are resuming our endeavor to live life whole heartedly.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Those who awaken never rest in one place.
Like swans, they rise and leave the lake.
On the air they rise and fly an invisible course.
Their food is knowledge.
They live on emptiness.
They have seen how to break free.
Who can follow them?
- Buddha in the Dhammapada  - courtesy of dailyzen.com

One of the toughest situations for my clients is the experience of knowing what to do to change but just not doing it. It is one of the more insidious conclusions for anyone who is unhappy and wanting to change. It is a self imposed judgement of  incompetence complicated by the mystery of why. " I don't know why I don't do what I need to do". They are stuck because they believe there are factors outside of their control that prevent them from changing. My job is to help them see how they are like swans; that they already have the capacity to rise and fly. By slowing things down and devoting  time to being still they can  experience a natural hunger for knowledge. To never rest in one place is to live each moment with an open mind and an open heart. Conclusions dissolve into possibilities and the  awareness of our Buddha nature becomes a guide for the invisible course of our life.

Friday, February 6, 2015


Everywhere turn around freely,
Not following conditions,
Not falling into classification.
Facing everything, let go and
Attain stability.
So it is said that the earth lifts
Up the mountain without
Knowing the mountain’s
Stark steepness.
A rock contains jade without
Knowing the jade’s flawlessness.
This is how truly to leave home.
- Hongzhi Zhengjue (1091-1157) courtesy of dailyzen.com

 Change requires stability. Stability is reinforced by change. Letting go and attaining stability is a wonderful description of the healing process in therapy. There really is no linear process of change for my clients. We look at what is stark and steep and we marvel at what is flawless in their life. The dialog is the journey and we can recognize those conditions and classifications that tend to complicate life. Without knowing is attained when the stability of self confidence can absorb the fears and doubts associated those conditions and classifications. With each step the wisdom we acquire through our successes and failures allows us to truly leave home and  turn around freely in the present moment.

Friday, January 30, 2015


I explain to you matters pertaining to enlightenment,
But don’t try to keep your mind on them.
Just turn to the ocean of your own essence
And develop practical accord with its nature.
- Yangshan courtesy of dailyzen.com

Many of my clients have expressed frustration when I do not tell them what to do. They come to my office seeking help for the problems they are having in their lives. What is implied is their inability to take care of themselves. If I am just giving advice I run the risk of validating their belief that they are incompetent. Instead I sit with them and we turn together to the oceans of  our essence. We acknowledge and investigate the worries,fears, and conflicts with an open mind. That process has great potential for my clients  to develop a practical accord with the nature of their essence. I have no place in that work. I can only provide a space for them to experience the learning and wisdom of reflection and self acceptance.

Monday, January 12, 2015



Meaning to get away from intellectualization
And avoid word traps,
I sailed across the sea to search for the
Transmission beyond the teachings;
Went on pilgrimages till my sandals broke
And found water in the clear stream,
The moon in the sky.
 - Kakua (1143 - ?) courtesy of dailyzen.com

Anna Freud considered intellectualization to be an important part of adolescent development. Stepping away from our feelings and into our thoughts can bring a sense of calm and order to an emotionally chaotic world. A situation that is particularly evident in adolescence. A defense mechanism protects but does not allow for learning. We create our own word traps to justify our reactions and build up our self esteem. Learning becomes a liability and evidence of incompetence.When we catch ourselves justifying our behavior we move from being defensive to being curious. The shift to curiosity is necessary for our pilgrimage to begin.
The search for transmissions beyond teachings is the acquisition of wisdom. Every day is a pilgrimage of sorts. We step through so many moments distracted by our thoughts and preoccupied by our desires. When we return to the present moment- with the simple act of the in breath-we shift into our pilgrimage. Even if it is for a brief moment, the act of returning allows the moon in the sky and the water in the clear stream to become our guides to enlightenment.



  The bird’s path, winding far, Is right before you.   Water of the Dokei Gorge, You return to the ocean, I to the mountain. - Hof...