We all seek solitude from time to time. The pause for our own company is an oasis for some, a desert for others. The price of disengagement is high, especially if you are using "me time" to avoid the stress and conflict of relationships. The ability to manage tough situations requires time and attention to the issues and the people involved in them. The effort yields wisdom and can deepen relationships to more emotionally fulfilling levels.
Families come to therapy because there is a breakdown in communication. If disengagement is a culprit the system has been corrupted by resentment and outrage. Accusations like " you don't care" are defended with " you don't appreciate what I do for you" The hurt is felt by all and the distance can grow to estrangement that can last decades.
Finding the right words can be difficult if the pattern for coping is to avoid. The opportunity to express love without guilt or shame will open new pathways to communicate and new ways to resolve conflict. This happens when a family discovers an important value they share about life. When each knows the other wants the same thing, they join in a mutual endeavor. Joining does not mean smothering and the ability to clarify the boundaries between the family and each member is the last step in the process. Peace and quite can be had by all.
Happy Thanksgiving
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