I live quietly with other temple monks,

Get up at dawn to chant Namu.

The valley stream transcends clamor and stillness,

Mountain clouds know nothing

Of being or nonbeing.

Room a half a span wide,

Empty enough to hang a bell in;

Gruel in a gourd bowl

That might be left dangling.

And since I came here, what have I done?

Bathed in the Yi, enjoyed the breeze

In the rain altars.

-Gensei (1623-1668)

We rely on our capacity to think about our experiences and utilize our knowledge to solve problems or acquire new information to help us manage the day-to-day stressors in our lives. Strong emotions can compromise that capacity and we tend to react quickly in emotionally intense situations. Moments of calm reflection can be elusive in a busy day filled with unexpected problems. Psychotherapy and psychoanalysis provide us with opportunities to sit in a room and reflect on those feelings and reactions. The conversation becomes a valley stream that transcends the clamor and stillness. Our journey together allows us to realize the fundamental points that are embedded in the busy and unexpected parts of our lives.

 Despite the obstacles,

I pursued the great monk

The misty mountains a million layers high

He pointed to the road back home

One round moon, lantern of the sky.

-Han Shan (c 730)

The decision to contact a therapist is a complex and meaningful experience for anyone facing a challenge in their lives. Our ability to manage our life comes into question and we find ourselves facing circumstances that we fear are beyond our capability to resolve. The therapist appears as a resource, someone who has the answers and the skills to help us. When I meet with someone for the first time, I hold an appreciation for the courage it takes to seek help and a respect for their wisdom and capabilities. We work together to clarify the issues and determine a path to achieve their goals. This becomes the road illuminated and we travel together, paying attention to the assumptions and beliefs that help or hinder the journey. Ultimately, they realize the great monk that resides within themselves and regain the confidence and hope that was obscured by the clouds of their doubts and worries.

 Late at night I sit alone

And work on deadwood zen

I stir the lifeless ashes

The fire won’t relight

Suddenly I hear the tower

Chime resound.

Its single sound of clarity

Fills the winter sky.

 —Han-shan Te-ch’ing (1546-1623)

Moments of clarity have the potential to change our lives. Depression can fill your world with lifeless ashes and leave you feeling helpless and hopeless to find any joy. People come to my office seeking clarity and we step into the unlit fire and stir the ashes of their thoughts and feelings. Our time together ends for the day and the feelings remain. The weeks can become months without much in the way of change. The scheduled hour becomes a finger or toe hold on our ascent of what feels like an endless journey up the side of the mountain. Chimes resound when new connections are made between experiences and assumptions that are usually outside of our conscious awareness. Being mindful of the present moment and allowing ourselves to reflect on our thoughts and feelings without judgement transforms the arduous journey into an opportunity to discover our creative potential .

 We can say for the present, however, that doubt is nothing other than time. We put our self in order, and see [the resulting state] as the whole universe. Each individual and each object in this whole universe should be glimpsed as individual moments of time. Object does not hinder object in the same way that moment of time does not hinder moment of time. For this reason, there are minds which are made up in the same moment of time, and there are moments of time in which the same mind is made up. Practice, and realization of the truth, are also like this.

- Dogen

Self-confidence helps us take risks and make important decisions. Anxiety and depression can undermine our confidence and paralyze us with doubt. Stepping into these powerful experiences will give us the opportunity to deepen our connection to the moments of time. The fears of uncertain futures and the sadness of what has been lost in the past become moments in and of themselves. They are transformed into objects that do not hinder the present moment. They become opportunities for wisdom and enlightenment. We can respect the suffering we experience as an essential part of our lives and a necessary part of the realization of our ongoing growth and development. 

 Truth’s naked radiance,

Cut off from the sense and the world,

Shines by itself.

No words for it.

-Pai-chang (720-814)

We make our way through the day with a set of assumptions and beliefs that allow us to navigate the demands and expectations of others. From the commute into work to the tantrums of our little ones. We operate with a familiar understanding of the world. Trauma can shatter our assumptive world and throw us into doubt and uncertainty as we struggle with the devastating effects of disruptive and life-changing events. When we can pause in a safe and supportive space the opportunity arises to discover the naked radiance of new truths to help us readjust and reinvest in the world that has changed in profound ways.

 

 

 Walking on willow tree roads by a river

Dappled with peach blossoms,

I look for spring light, but am everywhere lost.

Birds fly up and scatter floating catkins.

A ponderous wave of flowers sags the branches.

-Wang Wei (699-759)

There is nothing more encompassing than a depressed mood. Even waves of flowers will feel ponderous. The decision to seek professional help embodies a sense of helplessness and defeat. My clients struggle with the competing demands for relief and understanding. There are many approaches in therapy that are designed to address the symptoms. They have been proven with research to be effective interventions that provide new skills to be used to manage the ominous sense of despair and hopelessness. Psychoanalysis takes the deeper step to address the meanings of these very important experiences. The insights gained through links to basic assumptions about the self and others allows the spring light to reveal the true self. The coping skills that have been acquired become an essential part of their identity. There is an integration of joy and sorrow that allows for a balanced and mindful connection to who we are and our place in the world.

 Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself. Your body and mind will become clear, and you will realize the unity of all things.

-Dogen

We cling to basic assumptions about ourselves in our daily lives. Our measure of self-worth and competence is often contingent on how others respond to our words and actions. When my clients can think about their thoughts and feelings we create a space for the light to shine. I help them to realize the essential substance which is the basic assumption about themselves. These beliefs remain outside our conscious awareness as we take on the various tasks and conflicts embedded in each day. In my office we take the backward step and find those elusive links that contribute to despair and helplessness. The insight embodies the conversation and reveals our basic perfection. Helplessness gives way to resolve, and the new light transcends despair.

 

 “When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. Similarly, if you examine many things with a confused mind, you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent. But when you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that there is nothing that has unchanging self.”

― Dogen

In 1223 Dogen, at the age of 23 traveled to China to study with master practitioners of Zen. The journey had a profound impact on his understanding of how he perceives the world. I read this passage and make the association to time spent with my clients in therapy or in psychoanalysis. When we can take a close look at the feelings and thoughts that are bringing a sense of despair or agitation, we can achieve a clarity in that shared moment. In that pause we realize the possibilities that have been shrouded in the certainties of hopelessness and helplessness. Intimate practice is achieved with an open mind and an open heart. We return to the potential opportunities for a balanced and fulfilling life.

 In the evening of a thousand peaks, I close

my eyes.

Among humans, myriad thoughts are trivial.

Serenely I sit on the mat.

In solitude I face an open window.

The incense has burned out and a dark night is long.

The moon has risen over the highest peak.

— Ryokan (1758 – 18 February 1831)

Ryōkan spent much of his time writing poetry, doing calligraphy, and communing with nature. His poetry is often very simple and inspired by nature. He loved children and sometimes forgot to beg for food because he was playing with the children of the nearby village. Ryōkan refused to accept any position as a priest or even as a "poet." In the tradition of Zen his quotes and poems show he had a good sense of humor and didn't take himself too seriously. (Wikipedia)

I work with many people, young and old, whose incense has burned out and they are stuck in the long dark night. Our work together can open that serene space of contemplation and allow us to think about the assumptions and experiences that have contributed to their depression. We engage in the work of understanding and allow the opportunity for insight for change to be realized. We use myriad thoughts to guide us through the long dark light and together we can discover the thousand peaks illuminated by the moon.

 If views of delusion and awakening are done away with and interpretations of turning toward and turning away are cut off, then this mind is as lucid and clear as the bright sun and this nature is vast and open as empty space.

Right where the person stands, s/he emits light and moves the earth, shining throughout the ten directions. Those who see this light fully realize the absolute truth that all things are unborn. When you arrive at such a time, naturally you are in tacit accord with this mind and this nature.

-Ta-hui (1089-1163)

Over the years I have come to appreciate the impact of the here and now experiences my clients have when we are in session. The conversations are typically about what has happened in their life or what they fear will happen in the days to come. Over the course of time a unique relationship develops between us, and I become aware of the patterns of turning away and turning towards the assumptions that inhibit or compel my client’s efforts to deepen their understanding of themselves. When we shift our focus to the patterns and what is being felt in the moment, the opportunity arises to fully realize that all things are unborn, which refers to the eternal essence of life that transcends birth and death. It’s a realization that connects us to the light that shines in all directions. 

 Search out the point

where your thoughts

arise and disappear.

See where a thought

arises and vanishes.

Keep this point in mind

and try to break right through it.

Take up this awareness

as if holding a sharp sword in your hand.

-Han Shan (1545-1623)

Holding the sharp sword of wisdom, Manjushri demonstrates the process of cutting through our assumptions and beliefs that prevent us from exploring our thoughts and feelings. Our world is in a continuous state of evolving, the changes are subtle, like water dripping on stone and it is easy to form conclusions about ourselves and others. We desire a predictable world, and traumatic events can be devastating to our clearly defined reality. The process of searching for that point where thoughts arise and disappear is a fundamental part of therapy and psychoanalysis. We become aware of the subtle and nuanced changes that can deepen our self-awareness, work through traumatic experiences,  and revise our conclusions.

 After Missing the Recluse on the Western Mountain

To your hermitage here on the top of the mountain

I have climbed, without stopping, these ten miles.

I have knocked at your door, and no one answered;

I have peeped into your room,

At your seat beside the table.

Perhaps you are out riding,

Or fishing, more likely, in some autumn pool.

Sorry though I am to be missing you,

You have become my meditation.

The beauty of the grasses, fresh with rain,

And close beside the window the music of pines,

I take into my being all that I see and hear,

Soothing my senses, quieting my heart;

And though there be neither host nor guest,

Have I not had a visit complete?

The afternoon fades, I make my way

Back down the mountain.

Why should I wait for you any longer?

-Ch-iu Wei

Our lives change in fundamental ways when someone we love dies.  Death, along with love, really are the unopened gifts that can pass by. Rilke captures a poignant link in our daily lives. The loss of a loved one is traumatic and the mourning that follows dramatically alters our lives. The journey is difficult, our fears about the unknown are brought into our conscious awareness with overwhelming force. The shock and disbelief at the beginning eventually gives way to deep sadness, anger, and confusion. Our minds struggle to reorient to a life without someone who is always there. When I am sharing the therapy space with someone who is grieving, we take into our being all that we see and hear. We find healthy ways to soothe painful thoughts and feelings. We use the time to make our way back down the mountain and into a new life.

 Wanting to go to the eastern cliff

Setting out now after

How many years

Yesterday I used the vines

To pull myself up

But halfway there

Wind and mist made

The going tough

The narrow path grabbed

At my clothes

The moss so slippery

I couldn’t proceed

So I stopped right here

Beneath this cinnamon tree

Used a cloud as a pillow

And went to sleep

-Han-shan

I think of the time someone walks into my office for an appointment as an opportunity to pause. When the door closes, and they take their seat or lie down on the couch we share a space in time that allows us to consider the thoughts and feelings they are experiencing that day. Their journey is the context for our conversation. We focus on the goals that bring them into treatment and the struggles that are making the journey tough going. There are times when it feels like the path is covered in slippery moss and it feels impossible to proceed. We can pause and use the time to consider the obstacles with our open minds and hearts. The shared space allows us to explore new possibilities. When we sleep, we dream, and in our dreaming anything is possible. Our creative self can be used to open our minds to the waking dream of change and renewal.

 Know the essence of mind.

Its intrinsic essence is pure clarity.

It is essentially the same as a Buddha.

Know the functions of mind.

Its functions produce the treasury of teachings.

When its activity is always silent,

Myriad illusions become suchness.

 -Tao-hsin (580-651)

To be essentially the same as a Buddha does not imply some omnipotent grandiose sense of self. The effort to quiet our thinking and connect to the present moment allows clarity to emerge and provide us with an opportunity to understand our thoughts and feelings in a loving and compassionate way. Our fears and anger are functions in our mind. They emerge in response to experiences and influence our engagement in the world. Our tendency to be as others want us to be is a fundamental part of life. We become ashamed or resentful when the needs of others dominate our lives in unyielding ways. The myriad illusions are the truths we have cultivated from those experiences. The serenity we all seek is the essence of mind.  By giving ourselves an opportunity to pause and sit as a Buddha in a safe space we can achieve moments of quiet that will allow new truths based on compassion and loving-kindness to be cultivated.

 The moon’s appearance, a river of stars,

snow-clad pines, clouds hovering on mountain peaks.

In darkness, they glow with brightness.

In shadows, they shine with a splendid light.

Like the dreaming of a crane flying in empty space,

like the clear, still water of an autumn pool,

endless eons dissolve into nothingness,

each indistinguishable from the other.

In this illumination all striving is forgotten.

-Hung Chih Cheng Chueh (1091-1157)

 

There is a common misconception of the Buddhist concept of nothingness or emptiness. It is not a reference to the absence of things but rather the essence of the interconnection of all things. This essence is the clear still water that is overshadowed by our worries and strivings for success. We fall into a rigid orientation to ourselves and the world that classifies experiences as good or bad. We need our capacity to solve problems and to make healthy and morally sound choices. They are tools to be acquired and refined with experience. These tools are the river of stars and snow-clad pines and clouds that hover on mountain peaks. When we pause with an open mind and an open heart and reflect on what we do, the opportunity is there to experience the illumination that reveals the brightness in the dark and the splendid light embedded in the shadows. All the different parts of who we are dissolve into the clear cool water of nothingness, and we can experience a moment of enlightenment that transcends the rigid constraints on ourselves and discover the dreaming of a crane flying in empty space.

 Song of the Grass Roof Hermitage

I’ve built a grass hut

Where there’s nothing of value

After eating, I relax and enjoy a nap.

When it was completed, fresh weeds appeared.

Now it’s been lived in

Covered by weeds.

 

The person in the hut

Lives here calmly,

Not stuck to inside, outside,

Or in between.

Places worldly people live,

He doesn’t live.

Realms worldly people love,

He doesn’t love.

 

Silvery moon hangs high in the sky.

I ride a tiny boat in the vast and misty sea.

Moon and sea forgotten;

I forget that I have forgotten.

And before the window

I sit quietly in meditation until midnight.

-Jakushitsu (1290–1368)

The Song of the Grass Roof Hermitage recalls the fleeting moments of reverie when my thoughts are absent, and I am fully experiencing the present moment. The moment passes and I think about the experience. My thoughts emerge from the feeling I recognize, and the reverie passes. Meditation is a practice to still the thoughts that stream through our conscious awareness. Psychoanalysis is a practice to ride in the tiny boat and observe those thoughts and feelings that interrupt our reverie. My client and I work together to cultivate a calm state of mind that is not stuck on difficult feelings or resentments, a state of mind that appreciates the moments at hand and the quiet meditation that can be found in this complex and challenging world.

 The spiritual light shines alone,

Far transcending the senses

And their fields;

The essential substance is exposed,

Real and eternal.

It is not contained in written words.

The nature of mind has no defilement;

It is basically perfect and complete in itself.

Just get rid of delusive attachments,

And merge with realization of thusness.

Pai-chang (720–814)

 

Tathātā (/ˌtætəˈtɑː/; Sanskrit: तथाता; Pali: tathatā) is a Buddhist term variously translated as "thusness" or "suchness", referring to the nature of reality free from conceptual elaborations and the subject-object distinction. (from Wikipedia). In psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, we can encounter this realization of thusness when guilt and shame are being considered with curiosity that is free of defensive reactions to feeling judged or criticized. Failures and disappointments emerge as opportunities for learning and growth. Our essential substance is our true self, the core part of our identity that we brought into the world at birth. Life experiences interact with our true self in dramatic and subtle ways and we develop ways of managing our lives to meet our physical and emotional needs. Relationships are an essential part of living and become very complex parts of who we are. A relationship with a therapist or a psychoanalyst provides us with a unique space to transcend delusive attachments and allow the true self to shine alone. To quote Shunryu Suzuki “Each of you is perfect the way you are ... and you can use a little improvement.”