Enlightenment has no definite form or nature by which it can manifest itself; so in enlightenment itself, there is nothing to be enlightened. Enlightenment exists solely because of delusion and ignorance; if they disappear, so will Enlightenment. And the opposite is true also: there is no Enlightenment apart from delusion and ignorance; no delusion and ignorance apart from Enlightenment. Therefore be on guard against thinking of enlightenment as a “thing” to be grasped at, lest it, too, should become an obstruction. When the mind that was in darkness becomes enlightened, it passes away, and with its passing, the thing which we call Enlightenment passes also.
-Lankavatara Sutra courtesy of dailyzen.com

There is an inevitable disappointment when someone has completed their therapy. The anticipated “better place” is nothing more than the mundane everyday flow of tension and ease. There is no emerging sunshine and happy background music. Termination is the term used for finishing up someone’s treatment. It’s a pretty ominous term but it conveys some very important dynamics in the process of change. The uniqueness of the therapeutic relationship allows for a very close, personal connection that is contained in a professional setting. A safe and empathic space is a good setting for new ideas and experiences. When the goals of the treatment have been reached we begin the process of summarizing the process of change; understanding the new found skills and confidences in the here and now; and anticipating challenges in the future.My client walks out of my office as a fellow traveler on life’s journey. No more, no less. Delusion and ignorance do not vanish when therapy is completed. My client’s enhanced self awareness helps her to be on guard and recognize when she is trying to grasp enlightenment. The way out of the darkness is in the tensions and the ease of our every day lives.

It is most urgent that you seek real, true perception,
So you can be free in the world
And not confused by ordinary teachers.
It is best to have no obsessions.
Just don’t be contrived.
Simply be normal.
You impulsively seek elsewhere,
Looking to others for your own hands and feet.
This is already mistaken.
- Linji (d. 867) courtesy of dailyzen.com

An understandable issue with psychotherapy is this idea that there is someone out there who knows more than me about how to live my life. The response to suggestions of seeking professional help is "I can solve my own problems!" There is a stigma associated with seeing a therapist, that someone is crazy and unable to care for themselves or worse pose a threat to society. This becomes even more complicated when it is parents seeking help for their child. Is there a way to seek real and true perceptions in the therapist's office? How would you know if it was real? What is the difference between a therapist and an ordinary teacher?
We know that the experience of being understood is a more powerful curative factor than the clinician's degrees and theoretical orientation.  What is real is what makes sense and if there is the experience of having a new idea or perspective on an issue then you are the one who has made the discovery. Therapy is different from the classroom because there is no lesson plan, there is a companion for your journey who will ask questions and learn from you as you learn about yourself. This is the genuine therapeutic process, my training and experience provides me with a fund of knowledge to choose the right kinds of questions at the right time in the journey- unless I don't and there is a break in the connection. What is unique in therapy is how even the breaks become important opportunities for learning. The journey in therapy is not supposed to be easy, the hardest part will be acknowledging your hands and feet in a compassionate and non-judgemental way. Together we will seek that elusive simplicity.

You want to be a mountain-dweller,
No need to trek to India to find one.
I’ve a thousand peaks
To pick from right here on the lake.
Fragrant grasses and white clouds
Hold me here.
What holds you there,
World-dweller?
- Chiao Jan (730-799) courtesy of dailyzen.com

A "geographical cure" is a tempting idea for change. If I move to a new city I will be able to start over, make a new life. Over the years I have had many clients try this and all have been disappointed in the results. They soon discover the issues, that they had hoped were left behind, continue to disrupt and undermine their quest for happiness. The process of reflecting on the unwanted parts of our life is in effect the mountains we seek. To pause for a moment and understand the ability you have to look down on all the different parts of your life is to be the thousand peaks. It takes time and effort to cultivate this awareness. All of the struggles and fears become precious opportunities for learning and accumulating wisdom.  Acknowledging mistakes and disappointments with an open mind is another precious resource. A loving and compassionate relationship with our selves and our world creates a holding environment for us to discover the fragrant grasses and white clouds that have always been there.

Everyone holds a luminous jewel,
 All embrace a precious gem;
 If you do not turn your attention
Around and look within,
You will wander from home
With a hidden treasure
. - Dogen (1200–1253) courtesy of dailyzen.com

In psychotherapy I am always trying to assess my client’s insight. Is there an ability to reflect on his situation objectively? Does she have the capacity to have an emotional understanding of the underlying dynamics related to her presenting concern? There is a great deal of literature and research about emotional intelligence. The ability to find words that accurately convey an emotional experience is not something everyone has and it is something everyone can learn. The learning happens in a safe environment of empathy and compassion. Insight emerges in the dialogue between me and my client. It is the mutual experience of finding words that captures the subtle influences of long held fears and distorted assumptions about the self and others. The process of enhancing emotional self awareness is an effective way to turn your attention around and look within. To reflect with an open mind is an important step in cultivating the awareness of our luminous jewel. What becomes apparent is how the process of looking is the discovery of the hidden treasure.

Where there is beauty, there is ugliness. When something is right, Something else is wrong. Knowledge and ignorance Depend on each other. It has been like this since the beginning. How could it be otherwise now? Wanting to chuck out one And hold onto the other Makes for a ridiculous comedy. You must still deal with everything Ever-changing, Even when you say it’s wonderful. - Ryokan (1758–1831) -courtesy of dailyzen.com

All or none thinking is one of the more frequent cognitive errors we make when dealing with stressful situations. Either I am successful or I am a failure. The severest form of this is the assumption that the self or others are all good or all bad. A life from this perspective is filled with conflict and doubt. Experiences carry a potential for elation or despair. The idea of possibilities is intolerable because there is a required acknowledgement of possible failure and shame. The idea of knowledge and ignorance depending on others can be a hard one to swallow. However one cannot recognize knowledge if one does not know ignorance; just as one cannot recognize happiness without knowing sadness. Therapy is the opportunity to sit in a compassionate and non judgmental environment to consider all the positive and negative aspects of ourselves. That space then becomes a refuge for exploring and investigating. Wisdom is a natural product of this work and a very effective way of dealing with everything that is ever changing.

Whatever people do, whether they remain in the world as artisans, merchants, or officers of the government, let them put their whole heart into the task; let them be diligent and energetic. And if, like the lotus flower, which grows out of muddy water but remains untouched by the mud, they engage in life without cherishing envy or hatred; if they live in the world not a life of self but a life of truth, then surely joy, peace, and bliss will dwell in their minds. - Buddhacarita courtesy of dailyzen.com

Commitment to treatment is an important factor for successful experiences in psychotherapy. Resistance in treatment can be viewed as a problem brought into the session by the client and can sabotage the therapists ability to facilitate change. Over the years I have come to realize this is a very narrow view of a dynamic and intersubjective experience. As Roshi Joan Halifax has said; enlightenment happens in the context of a loving relationship. In therapy there are two people joined in a common cause. Commitment and resistance are the competing forces that facilitate change. The therapist and the client engage in dialog that can shift from being diligent and energetic to being avoidant and confrontational. We are all lotus flowers and although we are untouched by the mud we cannot the exist without it. We will never be able to put our whole hearts into every task all the time. Just as our mind will wander in meditation our tendencies to cherish envy and hatred will find their way into our minds and hearts. It is the recognition of this that allows us to return to the in breath; renew our commitment to our compassion;and cultivate loving kindness. When I can pause with my client to process a difficult session we are resuming our endeavor to live life whole heartedly.

Those who awaken never rest in one place.
Like swans, they rise and leave the lake.
On the air they rise and fly an invisible course.
Their food is knowledge.
They live on emptiness.
They have seen how to break free.
Who can follow them?
- Buddha in the Dhammapada  - courtesy of dailyzen.com

One of the toughest situations for my clients is the experience of knowing what to do to change but just not doing it. It is one of the more insidious conclusions for anyone who is unhappy and wanting to change. It is a self imposed judgement of  incompetence complicated by the mystery of why. " I don't know why I don't do what I need to do". They are stuck because they believe there are factors outside of their control that prevent them from changing. My job is to help them see how they are like swans; that they already have the capacity to rise and fly. By slowing things down and devoting  time to being still they can  experience a natural hunger for knowledge. To never rest in one place is to live each moment with an open mind and an open heart. Conclusions dissolve into possibilities and the  awareness of our Buddha nature becomes a guide for the invisible course of our life.