There is a man who makes 
A meal of rosy clouds:
Where he dwells the crowds don't ramble.
Any season is just fine with him,
The summer just like the fall.
In a dark ravine a tiny rill drips,
Keeping time,
And up in the pines the wind's
Always sighing.
Sit there in meditation, half a day,
A hundred autumns' grief will drop away.
                                                              -Han Shan courtesy of dailyzen.com 
D. W. Winnicott said the capacity to feel alone can only be experienced in the company of others. When I read these poems about sitting far away from the rest of the world I used to be troubled by the lack of regard for the suffering of others. Sitting with my clients is connecting to their suffering and doubt. Taking advantage of the unique setting of the consulting room I try to encourage an experience of dwelling where crowds don’t ramble. Being able to mentally sit in meditation while interacting with others gives us the opportunity to deepen our understanding of ourselves. As a hundred autumn’s grief drop away we can alleviate the suffering of others by sitting with them in compassionate ways and showing them how to be alone in the loving  company of others.

The truly still mind, with which you were born, is the mind that moves freely. Without ignoring anything, it reacts wholeheartedly to everything it encounters, to everything on which it reflects. And yet, for all that, it is the mind that is never seized by anything, but is always ready to react on the spot to whatever it encounters next. The mind that is still is the mind that never forfeits its freedom and is able to constantly keep rolling and rolling and rolling.

- Soko Marinaga Roshi (1925-1995)

Seeking help from a psychotherapist is a very important decision. The desire to resolve conflicts and improve self awareness are noble endeavors. The biggest challenge is discovering the inner peace and love that already exists within each of us. In the beginning we have an assumption that the therapist has something; answers to questions; teachings about coping skills; and wisdom to give us for a better life. This presumes that we do not have the answers, skills, or wisdom.  In therapy we enter into a conversation that stills the mind and allows it to move freely. By never being seized by anything and being open to all possibilities, the connections between our suffering and our wisdom are available to deepen our understanding of ourselves and our relationships with others.

I explain to you matters

Pertaining to enlightenment,

But don’t try to keep

Your mind on them.

Just turn to the ocean

Of your own essence

And develop practical

Accord with its nature.

- Yang Shan (1488–1559) courtesy of dailyzen.com 

One of the more frustrating dynamics in psychotherapy is the therapist’ s resistance to tell his client what to do. Understandably someone comes to therapy for help and help is expected in the form of advice. There is a thriving industry of self help books that will provide all kinds of advice for dealing with a wide array of issues and concerns. The therapist can make use of many different techniques that will provide new skills for coping and self care. The task of developing practical accord with the nature of ourselves involves far more than a new set of coping skills. There needs to be an understanding of how learning is experienced; how harshly we judge ourselves; and how difficult it is to experience short comings and personal failures. To achieve a degree of harmony with all aspects of ourselves is not something one can teach to another; it happens in the experiences created by the shared discovery of new insights in therapy.

Make no mistake about it; if you do not find it now, you will repeat the same routines for myriad eons, a thousand times over again, following and picking up on objects that attract you.

....Today, in your various activities, what do you lack? The spiritual light coursing through your six senses has never been interrupted. If you can see in this way, you will simply be free of burdens all your life.

- Lin Chi (d 867) courtesy of dailyzen.com 

People come to therapy to “find their voice.” When talking about a client in supervision I have said he hasn’t found his voice; he is still trying to find his voice; and the best case,he has found his voice and is ready to end treatment. It is a wonderful metaphor that embodies individuality and empowerment. I have come to a different understanding about the location of my voice and my client’s voice. The idea that there is an uninterrupted flow of energy coursing through the six senses creates a new perspective on our voice. When we listen to others with an open heart and an open mind we are able to respond with a voice that is authentic. When our voice is engaged in an authentic manner, we have the capacity to discover something new so that we are not repeating the same routines a thousand times over again. Today, our voice does not lack compassion when we are engaged in the daily activities of our life. Our voice has always been there and will always be there for us

The essence of mind is formless;

This itself is the subtle body of reality. 

The essence of mind is inherently empty; 

This itself is the infinite body of space.

- Ta-chu (8th c.)    Courtesy of dailyzen.com

Setting goals for treatment in psychotherapy is an important and complicated process. Change is desired and feared. The possibility for a successful experience in therapy depends on the understanding and openness about these conflicting experiences. I bring a perspective to this work that embraces the formless and inherent emptiness of the therapeutic space where we can accomplish these goals. As in the essence of mind there is an essence of a shared endeavor to change. By remaining formless the subtle body of reality has infinite possibilities for change. By remaining empty we bring these possibilities into the infinite body of space. The dynamics of change are not hindered by rigid beliefs of incompetence. They are allowed to be fully experienced and  understood in a non judgmental and compassionate manner. Our work cultivates a joy associated with the discovery of new found insights and abilities to be more effective in managing life.

The perfect way’s like boundless space
Nothing lacking, nothing extra
It is because of choice
That its absolute truth is lost.
Don’t pursue externals;
Don’t dally in the interior void.
When the spirit remains serene
In the unity of things
Dualism vanishes by itself...
- Sent-ts’an (d. 606)

There is boundless space in the therapy session. I am listening with evenly hovering attention; my client is expressing the pain and fear that is interfering with daily living. By staying present in that moment I endeavor to join my client with nothing lacking and nothing extra. We transcend dualism and create a therapeutic relationship. You and I become We and the boundless space becomes potential space for change to occur. The awareness of choices maintains absolute truth as we create new ways of dealing with the pain and fear.

Withdraw now from
the invisible pounding and weaving
of your ingrained ideas.
If you want to be rid of this
invisible turmoil, you must just sit
through it and let go of everything.
Attain fulfillment and illuminate thoroughly.
Light and shadow altogether forgotten.
Drop off your own skin,
and the sense-dusts will be fully purified.
The eye then readily discerns the brightness.
- Hongzhi Zhengjue (1091–1157) courtesy of dailyzen.com

It is counter intuitive to just sit through anything that is frightening, sad, or  simply annoying. We are by nature active in our lives and doing something about it helps all of us feel strong and confident. The idea of sitting still does not bring up images of successful change. Withdrawal is a symptom of depression, in extreme cases it can be life threatening if the individual has stopped all self care and is isolated from any support system. When someone comes to therapy we spend an hour sitting and talking about the reasons for being here and to define the goals for treatment. My hope is to allow a non judgmental and safe environment to help in the process of letting go; to abandon the critical and punitive beliefs attached to the struggle.  There is sitting and then there is sitting mindfully. When fear, sadness, and irritability are discussed with an open mind and an open heart the light and shadow will dissolve. Just sitting becomes a means to self illumination and discovery. We then take these discoveries into our daily activities and experience them in a new and healing light.