I explain to you matters

Pertaining to enlightenment,

But don’t try to keep

Your mind on them.

Just turn to the ocean

Of your own essence

And develop practical

Accord with its nature.

- Yang Shan (1488–1559) courtesy of dailyzen.com 

One of the more frustrating dynamics in psychotherapy is the therapist’ s resistance to tell his client what to do. Understandably someone comes to therapy for help and help is expected in the form of advice. There is a thriving industry of self help books that will provide all kinds of advice for dealing with a wide array of issues and concerns. The therapist can make use of many different techniques that will provide new skills for coping and self care. The task of developing practical accord with the nature of ourselves involves far more than a new set of coping skills. There needs to be an understanding of how learning is experienced; how harshly we judge ourselves; and how difficult it is to experience short comings and personal failures. To achieve a degree of harmony with all aspects of ourselves is not something one can teach to another; it happens in the experiences created by the shared discovery of new insights in therapy.