Evening mountains veiled in somber mist,

One path entering the wooded hill:

The monk has gone off, securing his pine door.

From a bamboo pipe a lonely trickle of water flows.

 -Ishikawa Jozan (1583-1672)

Grief is no longer considered a psychological disorder. Grief is a natural part of life. It embodies difficult feelings and unique challenges for everyone who faces this life-changing experience. We gather in times of loss, holding each other against the lonely path we will walk at some point in our lives. The complications that arise in this experience are brought into my office. My clients struggle with a sense of being lost or unable to move on from their deep sadness. We walk together in the somber mist and find refuge in the evening mountains. This space enables us to realize the profound changes that are unfolding and the beginning of a new life. The difficult thoughts and feelings become guides that reveal a new path. To relinquish old attachments and readjust to life without a loved one are the tasks of mourning. We carry the one we lost in our hearts where they remain in a perfect loving embrace. The complications of that relationship resolve into a meaningful presence that connects us to the infinite circle of life.   

 A solitary winter lantern

Casts a feeble shadow

Wind blows through

My flimsy hut and

Covers me with snow

I remember sitting

Cross legged on Wutai;

A makeshift door amid

The thousand year old ice.

-Han-shan Te-ch’ing

Mt. Wutai is one of four sacred mountains in China. It is home to 53 monasteries and a destination for pilgrimages. When my clients enter my office, we sit together and consider the storms of sadness and worry that dominate their thoughts and feelings. The connection between us becomes a lantern that clarifies the shadows of basic assumptions about themselves. We transcend the blowing wind as we discover new ideas and insights into the struggles that bind them to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. This shared space becomes a refuge for us to work through the anger and fear that covers their thousand year old enlightened mind and allow the true self to emerge from the storm.

 That which was fixed, moves;

the hard becomes soft.

The earth is like waves,

my house like a boat.

A time of dread,

but also of charm:

Wind bells chime without rest,

though there’s no wind

-Kokan shiren

Strong feelings color the world in singular shades. Our thoughts tend to be more encompassing, and we are left with the assumption of a world that is good or bad. To hold all the different feelings in mind is the work of mindful reflection. Our capacity to know the hard and soft and manage the waves of day-to-day life requires practice. My clients take their place on the couch or chair, and we consider all the parts of their lives with careful consideration of the dread and the charms that rise and fall without rest. We work together in the analytic space to deepen our understanding and appreciation of their rich and nuanced life that offers endless possibilities so that what appears to be fixed moves and evolves in the dynamic context of our continual growth and development.

 

 The mind seeking for truth

Begins, like a stream, shallow

At first, but then

Adds more and more depth

While gaining greater clarity.

 -Saigyo 

People come to psychotherapy or psychoanalysis because they are seeking a better way to manage the stressors in their lives. It has been my experience that when I offer some strategies that have been proven to be effective, the unanswered question of why things are difficult can undermine the strategies and even compound the difficulties. The shallow stream of symptoms provides an opportunity for someone to deepen their understanding of themselves and gain greater clarity of who they are. We explore the depths of their singular truths with an open mind. The journey becomes an essential part of their identity where they can utilize new strategies with self-confidence and greater resilience to the difficulties that life brings.