If your mind is fixed on a certain spot,
It will be seized by that spot and 
No activities can be performed efficiently.
Not to fix your mind anywhere is essential.
Not fixed anywhere,
The mind is everywhere…
Takuan (1573-1645) courtesy of dailyzen.com 

One of the hardest tasks for someone in therapy is to think about the poor choices they made in the past; experiences where someone was hurt by what was said; or actions that created chaos and loss in an otherwise successful life.  Wanting to change because of what was done in the past is an integral part of self-forgiveness. Yet the primary feelings behind the desire to change are guilt and shame. These are two of the most distressing and painful experiences we must endure. The paradox of guilt and shame is they are also necessary for us to maintain healthy morals. Without them we would not be able to make choices that are good for us and the people we love. They provide an important frame of reference that will allow our compassion to be the driving force behind our actions. Being aware of our shame, guilt, love and compassion happens when we allow our mind to be everywhere. The actions of the past are just one spot, the resolve to change is another spot, and our capacity for kindness and all that goes with it are a multitude of spots. Being fixed on anyone of these deprives us of the energy needed to change. In therapy we engage in a shared realization of all the spots with an open mind. This allows us to engage in a creative process of developing new ways to think about the past and then find new ways to manage the present moment with a shared hope for a joyful future.