Reaching my hut built of quiet mystery,
I sweep clouds away and settle into repose.
There's no one left to climb with me beyond
Slippery moss and frail vines to this peak
Where autumn winds bluster and breeze
And spring grasses grow lush and green.
                  - Hsieh Ling-yun (385-433 C.E.) courtesy of dailyzen.com


We all fear being alone in the world. Our relationships are an essential part of our sense of self identity. In therapy the work is often directed to the conflicts experienced in the interpersonal arena. I like the idea that each of us has a hut built of quiet mystery. A metaphorical “place” for us to settle into repose. It is a dangerous delusion to think we can achieve a state of equanimity that allows us to experience life without pain.  For the hut to be a refuge we need to allow all of our feelings to settle with us.  Insight and self awareness are far more important than comfort.  Conflicts in our relationships are the most important opportunities for us to deepen our understanding of ourselves. If everything is going well there is no motivation to change. Relationships grow and develop over time, there is a necessary tension that facilitates this process. The quiet mystery of our hut is the uncertainty that allows these changes to happen. To step into this  uncertainty is to walk  the path to our hut. It is a path we have to walk alone if we are to discover our own truths. As we come to know ourselves we are able to have meaningful and fulfilling relationships with the important people in our life.