Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself. Your body and mind will become clear, and you will realize the unity of all things.

-Dogen

We cling to basic assumptions about ourselves in our daily lives. Our measure of self-worth and competence is often contingent on how others respond to our words and actions. When my clients can think about their thoughts and feelings we create a space for the light to shine. I help them to realize the essential substance which is the basic assumption about themselves. These beliefs remain outside our conscious awareness as we take on the various tasks and conflicts embedded in each day. In my office we take the backward step and find those elusive links that contribute to despair and helplessness. The insight embodies the conversation and reveals our basic perfection. Helplessness gives way to resolve, and the new light transcends despair.

 

 “When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. Similarly, if you examine many things with a confused mind, you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent. But when you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that there is nothing that has unchanging self.”

― Dogen

In 1223 Dogen, at the age of 23 traveled to China to study with master practitioners of Zen. The journey had a profound impact on his understanding of how he perceives the world. I read this passage and make the association to time spent with my clients in therapy or in psychoanalysis. When we can take a close look at the feelings and thoughts that are bringing a sense of despair or agitation, we can achieve a clarity in that shared moment. In that pause we realize the possibilities that have been shrouded in the certainties of hopelessness and helplessness. Intimate practice is achieved with an open mind and an open heart. We return to the potential opportunities for a balanced and fulfilling life.

 In the evening of a thousand peaks, I close

my eyes.

Among humans, myriad thoughts are trivial.

Serenely I sit on the mat.

In solitude I face an open window.

The incense has burned out and a dark night is long.

The moon has risen over the highest peak.

— Ryokan (1758 – 18 February 1831)

Ryōkan spent much of his time writing poetry, doing calligraphy, and communing with nature. His poetry is often very simple and inspired by nature. He loved children and sometimes forgot to beg for food because he was playing with the children of the nearby village. Ryōkan refused to accept any position as a priest or even as a "poet." In the tradition of Zen his quotes and poems show he had a good sense of humor and didn't take himself too seriously. (Wikipedia)

I work with many people, young and old, whose incense has burned out and they are stuck in the long dark night. Our work together can open that serene space of contemplation and allow us to think about the assumptions and experiences that have contributed to their depression. We engage in the work of understanding and allow the opportunity for insight for change to be realized. We use myriad thoughts to guide us through the long dark light and together we can discover the thousand peaks illuminated by the moon.

 If views of delusion and awakening are done away with and interpretations of turning toward and turning away are cut off, then this mind is as lucid and clear as the bright sun and this nature is vast and open as empty space.

Right where the person stands, s/he emits light and moves the earth, shining throughout the ten directions. Those who see this light fully realize the absolute truth that all things are unborn. When you arrive at such a time, naturally you are in tacit accord with this mind and this nature.

-Ta-hui (1089-1163)

Over the years I have come to appreciate the impact of the here and now experiences my clients have when we are in session. The conversations are typically about what has happened in their life or what they fear will happen in the days to come. Over the course of time a unique relationship develops between us, and I become aware of the patterns of turning away and turning towards the assumptions that inhibit or compel my client’s efforts to deepen their understanding of themselves. When we shift our focus to the patterns and what is being felt in the moment, the opportunity arises to fully realize that all things are unborn, which refers to the eternal essence of life that transcends birth and death. It’s a realization that connects us to the light that shines in all directions. 

 Search out the point

where your thoughts

arise and disappear.

See where a thought

arises and vanishes.

Keep this point in mind

and try to break right through it.

Take up this awareness

as if holding a sharp sword in your hand.

-Han Shan (1545-1623)

Holding the sharp sword of wisdom, Manjushri demonstrates the process of cutting through our assumptions and beliefs that prevent us from exploring our thoughts and feelings. Our world is in a continuous state of evolving, the changes are subtle, like water dripping on stone and it is easy to form conclusions about ourselves and others. We desire a predictable world, and traumatic events can be devastating to our clearly defined reality. The process of searching for that point where thoughts arise and disappear is a fundamental part of therapy and psychoanalysis. We become aware of the subtle and nuanced changes that can deepen our self-awareness, work through traumatic experiences,  and revise our conclusions.

 After Missing the Recluse on the Western Mountain

To your hermitage here on the top of the mountain

I have climbed, without stopping, these ten miles.

I have knocked at your door, and no one answered;

I have peeped into your room,

At your seat beside the table.

Perhaps you are out riding,

Or fishing, more likely, in some autumn pool.

Sorry though I am to be missing you,

You have become my meditation.

The beauty of the grasses, fresh with rain,

And close beside the window the music of pines,

I take into my being all that I see and hear,

Soothing my senses, quieting my heart;

And though there be neither host nor guest,

Have I not had a visit complete?

The afternoon fades, I make my way

Back down the mountain.

Why should I wait for you any longer?

-Ch-iu Wei

Our lives change in fundamental ways when someone we love dies.  Death, along with love, really are the unopened gifts that can pass by. Rilke captures a poignant link in our daily lives. The loss of a loved one is traumatic and the mourning that follows dramatically alters our lives. The journey is difficult, our fears about the unknown are brought into our conscious awareness with overwhelming force. The shock and disbelief at the beginning eventually gives way to deep sadness, anger, and confusion. Our minds struggle to reorient to a life without someone who is always there. When I am sharing the therapy space with someone who is grieving, we take into our being all that we see and hear. We find healthy ways to soothe painful thoughts and feelings. We use the time to make our way back down the mountain and into a new life.

 Wanting to go to the eastern cliff

Setting out now after

How many years

Yesterday I used the vines

To pull myself up

But halfway there

Wind and mist made

The going tough

The narrow path grabbed

At my clothes

The moss so slippery

I couldn’t proceed

So I stopped right here

Beneath this cinnamon tree

Used a cloud as a pillow

And went to sleep

-Han-shan

I think of the time someone walks into my office for an appointment as an opportunity to pause. When the door closes, and they take their seat or lie down on the couch we share a space in time that allows us to consider the thoughts and feelings they are experiencing that day. Their journey is the context for our conversation. We focus on the goals that bring them into treatment and the struggles that are making the journey tough going. There are times when it feels like the path is covered in slippery moss and it feels impossible to proceed. We can pause and use the time to consider the obstacles with our open minds and hearts. The shared space allows us to explore new possibilities. When we sleep, we dream, and in our dreaming anything is possible. Our creative self can be used to open our minds to the waking dream of change and renewal.